Ruth's Ridiculously Random Rad Links

Beauty Links fo surfin'

--- MAC released their newest collection this week: Pret-a-Papier. Although great in theory, not all that in my opinion. I went to the MAC store today and wasn't all that impressed with the collection.... except for the Chromographic Pencil in NW25/NC30 (pictured right). Wow. Amazing. So versatile and I can not imagine how many things I could use this pencil for: eyes, lips, you name it. However, the store I was at: Sold Out. Of course. Devil!!!

--- Earth Day. Green. Eco. Sue me but thats not my thing. Organic. Vegan. Count me out. But with all this Earth Day hoopla a lot of beauty sites are releasing their lists of "green and mean" cosmetic and beauty lines. Sorry but I do not really care. BUT if you do... here's some info from Sephora: Vegan Make Up, Recycle anyone?, and Josie Maran is all about the Green.

--- Something amazing to look forward to: MAC is releasing a new Superglass lipgloss line this summer. It looks life-changing: the sparkle, color, shine and glitter of a Dazzleglass but with out all the texture and chunk on your lips? Sounds like a keeper. I am excited. Hits shelves July 2010.

--- J-Lo has ghetto glitter nails like me. Yea! Who knew I was so now.

--- New beauty line I am just dying to try out? Chantecaille. A new line that has been hitting the states from Italy has caught my eye and I can not wait to find the budget funds to partake. To begin? Their Les Bijoux Eye Palette. Gasp. Heaven. For $68 a little hell but this palette is making me feel evil.

Other not so important links fo surfin'

--- THIS makes me SO happy. Esquire, smart? Nice. Maybe finally men are getting. Women who could be mistaken for stick instects are fugly. And 'aint real women.

--- New Twilight Ecilipse trailer. Swoon. It looks so good. Hubs and I already have our date night planned for June 30th. Seriously. Ask him. He's a nerdy Twihard too. Thats why I married him. And a few other things.

--- I hang out with teenagers for a living. Literally. The amount they text is unnerving. It takes every ounce of energy in me just to keep their phones out of their hands. I have absolutely NO clue what they have to text about that much. What are they saying? IDK. They certainly can not be discussing Pythagorean's Theorem because Lord knows thats too much for them.

--- I look like this is a spandex unitard too. Seriously I do. Stop laughing. I mean if someone would just buy me a spandexy unitard already I would show you. Sheesh.

---- I bought it. I contributed to Avatar DVD extravaganza. I hate being one of the masses - so unoriginal.

--- For whatever reason this cracks me up. The biggest collection of celebrity D-listers attended the US Weekly Style Issue Party. Woohoo- screams crazy hot mess party to me.

Last but certainly not least...
--- All best friends got together to take pictures together but forgot to invite me? How rude is that? Whatev. I guess they had nothing else to run so they are slapping the pic on the cover of VOGUE Paris. They better invite me next time.

Modern Sitcom

I am not sure if anybody is watching this TV show… but shoot people if you are not… you must get on it. My favorite new show that makes me spray-milk-outta-my-nose-laugh-out-loud is Modern Family. I just find it freakin hilarious – okay it’s probably not that that funny, but I love it. It comes on ABC on Wednesday nights at 8:00 and I think is the benchmark for new family sitcoms. My favorite character: Mannie. An adorable chunky 9 year old son of a Colombian vixen and her new husband – Al Bundy – who has the maturity and one-liners of a 50 year old man. Love it. Anyway after watching it last night my husband looks over at me and goes “I have never heard you laugh out loud so much”… and honestly I can not remember a show when I have…okay I remember! Will & Grace. May you rest in peace… but its been a while since I have enjoyed one so much. So if you are watching it, you know where I am coming from. If you are not – do it! There’s not much good television on these days (save the genius that is How I Met Your Mother) so you will thank me.

God Bless Texas

Although there are many reasons I love being a Texan, here is one good one:

Fairs and rodeos. Although the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo is an entity in and of its own... it can't beat a true classic down home local Texas rodeo. My husband and I went to the Galveston County Fair and Rodeo on Saturday. Sigh. Where do I start? Barbecue cook-off competitions (so reminiscent of Chilifest at A&M. Tear.), cold beer, great country music, boots everywhere, funnel cakes, great people watching (the trailer trash did make an appearance), gorgeous pickup trucks, hats hats cowboy hats, foot-long corndogs, amateur cowboys just trying to ride a bucking bronco for two seconds, pigs, lambs, goats, cows, you name it.... and all this was topped off with the Miss Galveston County Fair and Rodeo Beauty Pageant. Lol. Yes. Amazing. Then that Zach Brown Band song "Chicken Fried" played in repeat in my head the whole time... and I am just very thankful to live where I do. I loved it.
God Bless Texas.

A resort on the tips of your hands

Although I consider myself an absolute beauty nut, I have never been a big nail person. Maybe thats because my finger nails range anywhere between bloody stubs (I can not NOT chew them!) and classy ghetto adorable acrylic fake nails (I use all shades of colors for my tips - no worries I keep it classy). That said, every once in a while I freak out and splurge for a nice polish (usually for my toes). In December, I freaked out for the Deborah Lippmann (who is a nail technician to the stars) rainbow-colored glitter nail polish - called Happy Birthday. Although ridiculously at $20 a pop it just screamed ME! That is until I wore it one day and my then fiance gave me that all too familiar look "are you friggin kidding me? No thats too much even for you" and so I put it aside. No worries ladies - give me a big party or night out and its peaking its head out again.

So even though I am rarely on the lookout to spend money on nail polish (except for any shade of purple), every once in a while OPI or Essie will release a limited edition line that will get me stoked. Essie just did that. They released their Resort collection last week and OH EM GEE I love it. They remind me a soaking in a tan while sipping an umbrella-decorated pina colada and reading the latest edition of Allure. Nirvana. The colors are (from left to right) Lapis of Luxury, Turquoise & Caicos, Playa Del Platinum, Splash of Grenadine. I think the Turquoise & Caicosis what put me over the top - I cant wait to get that on my toesies. I simply adore that mint greeny tealy color. So if you are out at Ulta anytime soon, check out this new collection - I promise you Splash of Grenadine will make you so now. Its almost summer! You need some new shades.

Sephora + Sale = Smile

Do you need any new make up or beauty products? LOL what a silly question. Of course you do. The question is: how much? Anyways, a girl's always gotta share a discount: right now you can get 15% off of any purchase at Sephora in-store or online now until next Monday, April 19th. Sephora almost never has full store discounts like this, so if you need something, take advantage! Seriously take advantage. Now! Frederic Fekkai Dry Shampoo, Clarisonic Skincare Brush, Hourglass Prodigy Lipgloss (fits in your pocket!), Perricone MD Face Finishing Moisturizer, St. Tropez Self Tanner, NARS Orgasm Illuninator... dont even get me started on what you could (and should) get. If you need ideas, I got 'em. So if you want, just use MADNESS as the promo code when you check out. Go get something for yourself - it will feel good. Beautify!

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Just when I could not be more excited about a new Sex and the City movie coming out... then they release a new trailer... with....

Aidan Shaw. Eeeeek! So excited. Although the realistic part of me is not because Carrie is now married to Big.. however I was always an Aidan fan. Can NOT wait.

While at the movies on Friday night having a date night with my hubs while seeing Date Night (yes date night watching Date Night, har har... movie was funny, not over-the-top hilarious but the credits confirmed my earlier opinion that Tiny Fey is comedic genius), I had an epiphany while watching the SATC2 trailer. As I watched the trailer I got so very excited, gasping for breath and squeezing my man's hand while he gives me this "seriously are you kidding me? get a life" look as I gazed upon the Prada, Proenza, and Marchesa... the cocktails and the stilettos... the BFFness and the Abu Dhabi jetsetting... and it came to me: this is like women's crack. Their addiction. These are (most) women's weaknesses. This is what we, as women, could get dysfunctionally obsessed with. Fashion we could never even afford (I can't really even afford to walk into most of those stores - I mean shoot I get eyeballed at most of the stores at the Galleria, looking goooo-rgeous at 50 years old, exotic luxurious vacations we will never go on (Fun Jet discount vaca anyone?), parties you get to dress up for, like, every weekend,  money coming out the wazoo from who-knows-where, gorgeous men everywhere and friends that you share your life with like you are "soulmates". Clothes. Cocktail Parties. Beauty. Travel. Money. Closer-than-life friends. Yeah. Sounds too good to be true. Yes, that because it is. That is why women, oh honey me included, become so engrossed in SATC. It is the (fictional) life we will never have. So although I so terribly wish I could have a crazy fun ladies night with all my girls and go see this flick... and a tear will still come to my eye remninscing watching the SATC tv seasons with my roomies on 811 in college..  I am trying to stay in reality that SATC isn't reality. Its fun to watch and enjoy, but don't become consumed with it.

That is my preaching to the choir post. I dont even know if it made sense? Maybe its because I got screamed at all day at work by students, their parents and my administration all in one day. I am kinda fried. :P

All I Want for Christmas... are my Wedding Pictures!!!

Well, sadly I have had to settle on the realization that I am not going to get my Christmas wish. So much for Christmas in April. My wedding photographer was - excuse me I just gagged at the thought - yeah thats how I feel about him. Our wedding pics are less than terrible and there is not a single good, frameable one of Ryan and I, not to mention none with all my family, bridesmaids, etc. Yes many tears have been shed, obviously. My one consolation is that, tragically, the same thing happened to my best friend, Jenn - she had a crap photographer and doesnt have many good pictures from her wedding.... and you know what? She's still alive and married. She's still kickin'. So I figure I will survive as well.

That said, we did have a goofy, amateur sophisticated, professional photo booth at our reception and ironically enough they are some of the cutest pictures I have with some of my bridesmaids. Perspective intact... (there are starving children in Ethiopia)... I'll take 'em. :)

Punch Me

I am a teacher. Puke. I am a math teacher. Big puke. I am a ninth grade math teacher. Stick a hot poker stick in my eye. I am a ninth grade math teacher in Texas. Jump off a bridge. A real one. A high one.

For us, it is all about the state tests. Blah blah blah. In the ed world breathing depends on these tests. Your job depends on your kids passing or not. Lovely, I know. Do they care? Oh h-no. They do not. A lot will not even pass it and they do not care. I have tried everything possible to get these kids to care and study to pass this... I have offered food, parties, finals exemptions, my first born, you name it, to try and get them to care about this test. However today I had realization about what really mattered to my students. Today I had a student show up to afterschool tutorials (which he needs) and I was pleasantly surprised to see him there. Halfway through tutorials he reminded me what was really important to him.... he said to me "do you remember when you said if i passed the test I could punch you in the face? I am going to pass that test!" Seriously - I had jokingly said that to one of my classes months ago. That is what is keeping him going. The prospect of punching me in the face. The glory of being a ninth grade math teacher.

To Extend or Not to Extend?

This probably would not surprise anyone who actually knows me, but I used my recent wedding as a platform to try all of the little beauty luxuries that I usually could not justify monetarily on a normal basis. I mean I can already justify $30 lip gloss on a normal basis, but shoot.. that freakin’ shimmer - its just worth it. (Please note sarcasm. Not a lot, but a little). So there are two different additions that I tried to “umph!” up my look. One of them was a spectacularly amazing I do-not-know-how-I-can-live-with-out addition and the other was an eeeew-so-not-worth-it-take-them-out addition.

I’ll start with the con. I got hair extensions. My crazy hair dude talked me into them and we used them actually not to make my hair longer, but just fuller. I have the limpest, thinnest, finest hair imaginable and so I just need some more hair in there. So I got the nice expensive ones (no they were not the Jessica Simpson brand) that they glue onto individual pieces of your own hair and they last 3 – 6 months. Supposedly. Anyways, I will say that it has been nice having more hair. It is just fuller, it looks way better in a ponytail/bun because I actually have some hair in my rubber band and it does seem thicker. But, sigh, so not worth it. They are miserably painful to sleep in – I mean you are basically laying on lots of little hard pieces of plastic. It is hard to brush your hair and dry it from the roots because you have to brush around the hard pieces of plastic. Then as the extensions grow out they start to show through your hair, especially when you wear your hair up, which as a teacher I do most of the time. Next they are also very itchy. They just make your scalp more sensitive. Eeew. Lastly they are hard to take out. I am sure I have to go back to my hair dude and get them taken out by him because them babies aint budgin’. So I would personally not recommend hair extensions – I just do not think they are worth it. I mean I am sure if I had Ken Paves following me around fixing my hair every day, then they would look awesome. But, well, I don’t.

Now onto da goods. Good extensions. Eyelash extensions have been on the rise for the past three or four years now and I have been dying to find an excuse to bite the bullet and splurge for them. What they consist of is you have a single false eyelash glued to each one of your own eyelashes. It takes about two hours to apply (just laying down with your eyes closed) and a good eyelash extensionist will have all different types, color, lengths, and sizes of eyelashes to fit yours perfectly. In my belief, their only downsides are their price (eek!) and the fact that without getting a touch-up they only last about 3-4 weeks. But the upsides??? Endless. Where do I begin? I am in love with them and they were the best decision I made getting ready for my wedding. I certainly cannot afford to keep them up indefinitely but I do NOT know how I am going to let them go! They are amazing, you just wake up in the morning and – bam!- you look like you have fresh makeup on. Long, thick curled black lashes, at all times. You can add some extra mascara to the tips for a little extra punch but it’s so not even needed. So all I do is slap on a little black eyeshadow as eyeliner (you do not want to use any cream eyeliners or shadows with eyelash extensions because it could mess with the adhesive) and I am ready to go. They have been so much fun to have and so easy at the same time. And my husband loves them. Of course he mocked me at first for getting them, but he actually loves them. I am now a little nervous when he sees me first thing in the morning – he’s only seen me with gorgeous lashes. Haha.

The photo above was taken on my honeymoon right after I woke up without a stitch of make up on… on the balcony of our cabin of our cruise (the water in background is the Cayman Islands – drool away). Please excuse the dorky look on my adorable husbands face... but point is – look at my lashes?! Gasp. Amazing. Maybe its Maybelline? Nope its not. Those are extensions (Note: Please ignore my husbands natural eyelashes that, yes, are just as long and perfectly curled as my fake ones are. Vomit). So although they are a bit pricy and take a little while to get used to, I totally recommend them for anyone who has a special occasion they can justify a splurge for…. Or just a splurge for fun! One important point to make: it is very important to be careful where you go to have these applied. Eyelash extensions are a newer “technology” but are starting to pop up everywhere – a random cheap nail salon I went to last week was offering them for $70. Oh no ma’am not there. All of the research I did before I had them applied led me to believe it is VERY important to be careful where you have these done. They are not something you want to have done quick or cheap – you want a professional who is experienced because they could really screw up your eyelashes. I personally went to an upscale spa and decided to use a woman after I had a consultation with her, but in Houston alone there are actually two lash boutiques where all they do is eyelash extensions. So there are definitely good places to go, even in Houston.

So Ruthie’s final scores: Hair Extensions, C- ; Eyelash Extensions, A+ . Go get’em!

What's in a Name?

How could we ever live without TBS? I just don’t know if I could. Love it. My go-to channel (aside from E!. Of course). TBS is what I live for every day from 5:00 – 6:30pm-ish and then every weekend for their constant reruns of my favorite chick flicks. Sigh. Anyway I just watched the Friends episode where Ross and Rachel try to figure out what to name their baby… and the whole episode they contemplate back and forth naming her Ruth. So suddenly the flood of emotions has come over me as I remember how it felt watching that episode with my girlfriends on a Thursday night in 2002 with utter joy and glee filling my soul as I thought that if the Friends baby was named Ruth… I would finally…. FINALLY… be vindicated after all these years for having a name that is mistaken for everyone’s Great Grandmother. But alas, no. They decided on Emma. Which, ironically enough, was simply another nail in the coffin of name bitterness for me because I have always always always wanted to name my daughter Emma… but after the Rachel/Ross baby was named Emma…. It became the most popular baby name in 2003. Devil!!! Can I catch a break? So I am going to have to continue being mistaken for your great aunt and will have to name my future daughter Shaniquoi.

Round Two. Dos. Deux. I'm Back!

Sooooho a whole lot has changed since I blogged last. Last I blogged, my blog's name was Randomness of Ruth, I was a completely single lady who worked in ghetto gangville, our country was still a somewhat amicable democratic state, I had only endured one back surgery and, well, I loved lip gloss. Well now… my blog name is Words of Ruth, I am married to an amazing man, I have a new job thats at least out of Crips country, the USA has been taken over by socialists, I now have two back surgeries under my belt (no pun intended)… but at least I still love lip gloss. Thank God for consistency. Why the blog name change? I know, right, how in the world – gasp – could I rid myself of an amazing intricate name like Randomness of Ruth? Easily. The internet trolls took away my domain name away when I did not renew it quick enough and were holding it hostage for some retarded amount of money to get it back. A) That’s dumb. B) Let’s be honest we all knew it wasn’t exactly a to-die-for name so I decided to just by a new one and kinda start over… so here we are. Wordsofruth.com. Holla!

So besides a simple blog name change… seriously a lot has changed in my life (my real name too!) but I am going to try (key word: t-r-y) and get back into the blogging mind frame and see where it takes me. I have no clue what it will be about. Any ideas? Maybe my baby since I am pregnant!!!! Haha just kidding just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. H-to-the-No I am not preggers. I need my time with my new hubs. But then again I have a feeling he will not be as keen on my cosmetic purchases as I am so I might have to keep them a little under control ( I said a leeeeeettle) but I will still have plenty to drool over. So this is my personal promise to you (okay maybe only myself) that I will try and get back in the groove. Honstly I love blogging and miss it. Although it is so now... I hope you all realize - I was an original. Boo-yah!

Ones that entertain, and ones that observe.

"There's only two types of people in the world: Ones that entertain and ones that observe." Oh, Britney. Sigh. So wise.

I know I know I know. I don’t want to hear it. When you get a post, you get a post, okay? I mean I could dictate this crap ALL day long – come to think of it – I do! But having the time (and energy) to sit down, write it, edit it (this “magic” doesn’t happen all by itself people) well that’s a different story. The day I have a secretary to translate my dictation, is the day you will have more blogging. That or this summer when I am not working (heeheeheehohoho – did I mention that I was now a teacher and get the summers OFF?! Holla at yo motha the glass if half full!). Anywho, the purpose of this is to simply share with you two new products that are rocking my world. I could no longer keep this information to myself, it just isn’t fair to you.

First off, eyelashes. You just have to try it. I pride-myself-am-embarrassed-by-haha-who-am-i-kidding-no-i-am-not-i-cant-live-without premium expensive mascara. It is one of those cosmetic products where I do believe price/name brand quality makes a difference. Believe me I have tried them ALL. There is literally not a one out there I can think of I haven’t. But I have found the best “cheap” drugstore brand mascara in the history of the universe. Seriously. The universe. Maybelline’s new Lash Stiletto Ultimate Length Washable Mascara. Eeeeek ugh-mazing. First of all, I am a sucker for packaging and its tres adorable. It looks like a stiletto heel for goodness sakes – genius! Marketing gurus must be inside my gullible head. But evenmoreso, it is such an impressively great mascara. Not since Maybelline discontinued their Illegal Lengths mascara in 2004 (devil! Please pause for a moment of silence) have I been so excited about any cheap mascara. Stilleto makes my lashes dead-of-night black and lengthens the freaking heck out of them - which yes are already decently long – but Stiletto takes them to like trannie level. You could be mistaken for a drag queen. But in a totally good way. Wait is there a good way? Hmmm ponder… anyway – it’s FAB. It will also give your lashes little volume and hold curl pretty well to make it an amazingly impressive combination of all four important aspects of mascara: length, darkness, volume and curl. And the best part? Its only, like, $7.50. Seven fiddy?! That rocks the kashbah. Go try it and its okay to write me a note to thank me. You’re very welcome.

Secondly, I have a renewed faith in this whole mineral makeup movement. Okay that’s a lie I am still not a believer and am so annoyed by the whole fad but I did find a new product I can not live without. MAC’s Mineralize Skinfinish Natural. It is the most amazing, silky smooth powder that goes on so nicely, covering just a little more than a powder but less than a foundation or even a powder/foundation – I just love it! I have normally steered away from MAC’s face products, not that they are bad they just usually aren’t my cup of tea (even cult-favorite Studio Fix is too heavy for me). However, after reading about this product I finally tried it and I am oh oh oh so glad I did. It looks so amazing over a little tinted moisturizer and it is a buildable product… which means you can change the look of it depending how much you want to wear - if you want more coverage, you can just keep adding layers of it. Oh yeah and of course it is “baked with minerals” in case you are one of those who are into that and have to have minerals. Puke. Anywho, I had even decided to invest in a fancy, nice kabuki brush to apply it with, but honestly Mineralize Skinfinish Natural is so good that with my random extra blush brush it looks fine. So simply put a little bronzer over it and your skin looks toner, silkier, smoother, and it tends to stay for a decent amount of time, I love it. I currently am using the “Medium” shade and although a steeper price than my aforementioned cheap mascara, that’s a wonderful trade off in my book.

That's all for now folks! I am off to teach future inmates of America's penal system important life lessons like how to find the probability of getting all "heads up" if you toss a coin four times. I know. Rock. Your. World. And in case you are a nerd and are now wondering... hmmm I wonder what is the probability of getting all "heads up" if you toss a coin for times. Its 1 out of 16. Nerd alert! Peace.

Thankfulness - Ruthilicious Edition 2008

Whether your life is good or bad... seems up or down... full of trials or blessings... gratitude and thankfulness are essential and should be the focus of our lives on a daily basis. Unfortunately it usually takes a holiday like Thanksgiving for us to sit down and truly realize how lucky we are and how many things we have to be thankful fo- however trivial they may seem. So for today these are some things that I am thankful for this year in no particular order:

1. The people who still love me despite my numerous numerous faults.
2. Revitalash. Like my own personal genie in a bottle.
3. My job and passing that friggin’ math test to get it.
4. Teen vampire fiction. Twilight. Duh.
5. My Lord. My God. My Redeemer. He hasn’t given up on me and still desires a relationship with me… even if the feeling is not always mutual. Very rarely mutual. Amazing grace.
6. Sephora.
7. Podcasts. After spending so much time and money collecting sermon series on CDs the past five years, the world of free (or at least cheap) podcasts has changed my life. And new speakers – Mark Driscoll, Ervin Lutzer, Matt Chandler to name a few – plus Oneplace.com.
8. Cats. LOL. This one was just to make me laugh. Who am I kidding I hate cats. I wish death upon them all. No joke.
9. Facebook.
10. Online shopping. And RetailMeNot.com which makes it even cheaper.
11. My parents. Although maybe cliché I would not have survived the last three years without them… or have been born in the first place I guess. They are spectacular.
12. Dry cleaners.
13. Taylor Swift. Who doesn’t enjoy break-up-girls-rock-boys-suck songs over and over? No one that’s who.
14. My youth ministry girls. Watching them grow and mature is such a blessing.
15. Laying out. By pool or beach. Preferably with friends, music, cold drinks, and Banana Boat dry tanning oil spray.
16. Over-sized rings. Da bigga da bettah.
17. My friends. And for the chance to have been in all of their weddings and how much fun all of the showers, bachelorette party weekends, and wedding days are. Memories to last a lifetime. I love you all.
18. Bud Light Lime.
19. Fossil dresses.
20. All the people who pray for me when I do not have the strength or energy to pray for myself.
21. My sister Rachel
22. My health. I have gotten over my seven weeks worth of strep throat (aka mono) and my back pain although not gone, hasn’t gotten worse. Glass half full right?
23. Cold weather (albeit rare).
24. The wisdom and maturity that comes with having gone through so many hard times and having made so many mistakes in my life.
25. 2008 Beijing Olympics.
26. Democracy (for now…) and a Sovereign God who is in control.
27. My iPhone. I just love it. Who cares if it’s a vintage one - 3G is so overrated. :)
28. Down comforters.
29. Cheese. Never gets old.
30. Live music.
31. Beauty blogs
32. The Christmas’ (they are a family) and all they have done for my sister, Rebecca, and all the selfless love they have shown her. They are truly the closest thing to angels on this earth that I have ever encountered and give a new definition to “dying to self”.
33. LORAC TANtalizer Body Bronzing Luminizer and Too Faced Lash Injection Mascara
34. Seeing my parents happy and treated with the love and respect they deserve at their new church.
35. My flava. Although in small quantity the white chocolate in me has helped me survive the semester (so far).
36. DVR
37. Taylor Kitsch and Tony Romo.
38. Jack in The Box’s new Hearty Breakfast Bowl. Yum-meeeee!
39. Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. They keep my conservative soul somewhat sane.
40. Downy Wrinkle Releaser Spray
41. Gossip Girl. My guilty obsession. The fashion alone leaves me breathless and it reminds me how I would dress if I won the lottery.
42. Texas A&M University. Whoop!
43. Cheap jewelry stores.
44. Hope.
45. The math department at my school and how much support I get from them. It could be so much worse!
46. People.com. One-stop shop for celebgoss in a hurry.
47. Jessica Simpson’s shoe line *#@($%^*/(*. Sorry about that I just threw up in my mouth a little. That hurt to say but it had to be said. I love them.
48. Singing in the car. Betty Boop doesn’t care if I’m tone deaf.
49. All of you who randomly still check this blog even though I haven’t really blogged in six months!

And last but not least…

50. Diet Coke. Save the best for last.

There are so many more things I am thankful for (yeah, like that) and tons of more people that I am thankful for who are in my life (yeah, like you)... but my list can only be so long. :)

What are you most thankful for this year?

I will cut him

Although I am clearly not blogging in my current life state right now, I have been told that having my last post up being focused around mullet hair products was not quite classy enough. I thought to myself - "Ruth. C'mon. Fake it. Be classy. Whats something else you I would make sure could share with folks?" Well since it is Halloween time, I thought I would share what I would have dressed up as (which I didnt because I am now going on being sick for four full weeks now and on my third round of antibiotics all the while still teaching my gangstas from paradise everyday- fun times) - and that would have been none other than... Bon Qui Qui. She from Madtv. Picture of class. And she just makes me laugh. Girl if you don't know 'bout Bon Qui Qui, you gosta watch...

Oh and on a completely unrelated sidenote, I found what I want for Christmas. Its just one thing... not too much to ask for, right?

Lame? Oh Yes. Better than nothing? Up for debate.

Okay so I have no real intention on blogging, folks. Sorry. I have absolutely no emotional energy left in me not to mention any time at all... and basically in my new job I am living my own personal HELL (I did achieve something by finding something more miserable than accounting). Add that with the fact that I made the "smart" decision to stay with my parents who decided NOT to evacuate for Hurricane Ike even though the house is technically only two miles away from Galveston Bay.... hmmmm not looking good. "Hunkerin' down" is what its supposedly called. However there's something I gotta share. Its not work stories (but oh man I got 'em), my opinions on Sarah Palin (oh you knooooooooow I got 'em), its not my pre-Ike-drowning final goodbye letter (I'm not melodramatic at all), but I have found something kin to random amazing genius I feel like I would be robbing you of delight and wonderment if I did not share. Shoot it would be a crime. I don't need a felony to add to my list of perils (and yes Aggie football is on this list as well).

It is a crackheaad of a company called Blue Q. I'm talking serious crack. There's no other way to describe it. How am I so sure? They have produced Mullet beauty products - shampoo/body wash. Yes exactly. Classeeee. Shampoo for rednecks who happen to like business in the front and a party in the back. Freakin' hilarious. Sad part is... someone out there is buyin' this stuff going "awhhh yeahhhh!" And on top of the Mullet product line they have Cat Butt and Gnome gum and airfreshners, Mental Case soaps (including Obsessive, Prima Donna and Nymphomaniac soaps!), Total Biatch toiletries, and Miso Pretty beauty products among many other geniusly named lines. One of the most RANDOM things I have come across in a long time. For some reason just wanted to share.

Wow. What a dork am I? Now that I have written it down... yeah its not that funny. Yes random but not that funny. Sheesh Ruth. Have I lost my mojo or what? I am about to just delete this. Ugh. Okay I do not want to bother to post this and embarass myself... but dang at least its a blog post, right? Basically I am laying here in bed "relaxing" for the first time in months watching the UNC-Rutgers football game since I am trying to get in as much TV as possible before our power inevitably goes out tomorrow... so I suppose this is all you got. Be grateful dangit. So whats the only upside (is there one?) to being stuck in my house for three days? Hmmm... since the power will be out I can't really think of one - oh!- except I can finally try out my new self tanner. After months of searching in stores and the internet, I finally snagged me some L'Occitane Castanha Self-Tanning Veil (face self-tanner) that has been virtually ungettable. But I always get nervous trying a new one because in essence it could turn your face orange and that would be well a teensy bit embarassing. So now I can try it to see how it looks with my coloring with no one being able to look at me if it doesn't go well... all the while thinking I had another run-in with one of those horrific Mystic Tan booths (miserable!). See guys??? At least I still have my priorities.

Okay so one kinda-work story that does break my heart - I was finally turned on. Stabbed in back. Benjamin Franklin-ed. It was terrible. By who? My great love... Diet Coke. First my computer and now this? So I had a twelve pack of DC in the back of my car for a few days that I was going to bring into my school to keep in the fridge. So I finally went to get it out of my car right before school started on Tuesday, and well I'm clumsy so I dropped it - no biggie, right. Wrong. The ENTIRE box exploded all over me. All twelve cans. All of them! I guess they had gotten too hot sitting in my car for a few days and were a ticking coke bomb. I was covered head to toe in Diet Coke. Whats worse? This happened right before school started and I was parked right in front of the bus circle so half the student body got to watch this happen. Lovely. Why do these things happen to me? I just can't believe DC keeps turning on me... it hurts.

I miss all my people. You know who you are.

xo - ruthie

There is no color as beautiful as GOLD (except pink of course)

So its 12:30 in the morning. I went to "sleep" at 10pm because a) I am pooped exhausted from all my teacher training prep and b) I have been so nauseous and nervous all day for Nastia Liukin to compete tonight I wasnt really sure I could watch her compete in the gymnastics all-around competition. That is how much I have been invested in this young lady. Starting to watch her in 2004 and 2005 when she was far above the rest of the world and no one could come close to touching her, then watching her hopes dash as she had a major injury and surgery and having a long hard road of recovery barely being able to bounce back, to seeing everyone rant and rave about Shawn Johnson blah blah blah that she would be the Olympic All-Around Champion no problem no one else in contention... to knowing - completely believing - Nastia could win the all-around. I even called it. If she hit like she can, she could win hands down. No doubt about it. So as I tried to "sleep" I couldn't help but continue to quickly check the scores to see where they were at, and then after she hit her bars, I could not keep myself away. And then she did it... once she hit her double front on floor I knew that was it. I still can't believe it. My joy for her is indescribable - probably the most beautiful gymnast I have ever seen. She has been through so much and deserves it more than you know! Yes I cried. Multiple times. Aaaaaaa. Do I need a life? Shut up. Oh and did I love it that she won in a bright pink leotard? Absolutely. "Oh Ruth does that really matter?" Absolutely.

Oh and my other Olympic highlight tonight: Ryan Lochte winning the 200 Back (swimming). Finally!!!! This boy is such an incredible incredible incredible swimmer but always is the silver overshadowed by the powerhouse that is Michael Phelps. But the fact that Ryan now has his own individual gold medal (I'm okay with him beating Aaron Peirsol because although I love me some Aaron, he already got his 100 Back gold/WR) is amazing! Yeah I havent had time to blog lately, and even though really wanting to go on and on about the Olympics (as I am what people should call an Olympics junkie), honestly I have been reluctant to do so... especially about Michael Phelps only because everyone and their dog and even their dog's walker are talking about him... people who don't really know anything about swimming... which I totally understand but its still annoying to a psychotic swimming and gymnastics follower/fan like myself who follows every single meet these people compete in. I will say one thing.... I do not know how that boy is still standing. You can tell he is tiring a bit - his strokes are getting a tad tight - but he still going strong. Way stronger than he humanly should be able to. That is a whole lotta lactic acid his body is going through. It is truly magnificent what he is doing. Not just by winning... but that he has the endurance and strength to race this much. Sheesh. What am I going to do with myself when the Olympics are all over? Well... sleep probably.



My smack talk to Megan earlier this evening proved true : sorry sweetie. Nasty took the midget! heehee.

Taking a 180

So my life has been going through a bit of a transition the past two months. So in case any of you don’t know already, I thought I would share what has been going on. Although I have been extremely hesitant to say the least to start down this path… I believe this is where God is leading me at this time. Beginning next week I am going to be a public high school math teacher. Officially. Aaaaah! To say I am nervous/scared/anxious/uncertain is an understatement. The past few months have been filled with certification classes and seminars, studying studying studying, researching school districts and applying for jobs (applying for teaching jobs is a whole other ball game – like applying for a job and school at the same time), interviewing, and contemplating.

After going through the whole graduate school application process this spring, I was accepted into the University of Houston’s MBA program. However after reflecting on it more, I determined I could not afford to go into further debt by going to grad school with my uncertain medical future, especially to get a degree in something I reeeeeeeeeeally didn’t care about. So, I decided to go down this teaching path for many reasons… one of the main being my health situation. My chronic back pain still being such of an issue, and after two years of doctors, surgeries, and therapies with there being no resolution in sight, I realized there was no way I could sit for 40 hours a week at a desk (which is where reverting back to accounting or most business jobs would take me). So when thinking what in the world can I do that I don’t have to really sit all day – teaching is the only plausible option that came to mind. In my past I have always swore I would never be a teacher. My life motto has become : Never. Say. Never. However, I do have a heart and passion for high school students and see the need of love, guidance, and teaching they are lacking so it was natural that if it came down to it, I would want to teach them. I chose math because I have always been a number person and for the most part math has always come easy to me… with the realization that this is not usually the case for most students. Plus, there is a huge demand statewide for high school math teachers (because NO ONE wants to take the freakin’ test you have to pass!) so I figured this would be the best way to guarantee getting a job for this fall.

It is more official as of yesterday because I got my test scores back. You see, I had to pass a Texas Math Grades 8-12 content test in order to be able to teach high school math (if I don’t pass I could only be in the classroom as a “permanent substitute”). The problem is I was told by pretty much every person I spoke to that this math test was unpassable – my certification program people told me not to take it, current math teachers who had been teaching 20+ years, everyone. And I heard many people had to take the test over and over multiple times in order to pass. Great. No wonder there are no math teachers. So I have been studying my booty off for about six weeks… my mind being filled with ellipses, matrices, statistics, probability, trigonometry, surface areas, derivatives, radii, don’t even get me started its been ridiculous. So I took the test this past Friday. OMG I felt like my brain had been raped. Seriously. It was so hard and so long. It was a five hour test that took me every millisecond the five hours to complete it without budging. If you took a bathroom or water break, it took away from your test time so I persevered through it and didn’t move. I really had no idea how I did but I found out yesterday… that I passed. Yeaaaaaa! Dude 85% baby. Guess I am more of a smarty pants than I thought. I am so relieved if only because I never have to take that test again. Ever!

So that said, I have accepted a position at a high school in Houston (no not Houston ISD) to be an Algebra I teacher this coming school year. It is school comprised (97%) of “economically disadvantaged” students as I call them, so that is going to be a challenge in and of itself but I feel this is where I can make the most impact. Okay well honestly this is the school I feel like God wants me to make the most impact because if it were really up to me I would have chosen a much more comfortable situation. Yep that’s that. I am going to have to start getting used to hearing “Miss Wilson” without looking behind my back thinking my mom’s there…

NO I have no intention of ever wearing a knit wool vest covered in anything resembling an apple, Christmas tree, Halloween pumpkin or any other holiday symbol. I still have a rep to protect.

ruthie

Death by aspartame? Not just a theory anymore!

I might have finally found a reason curse Diet Coke. Although for a majority of my life it has provided my otherwise depressing and sad existence a sense of bliss, happiness and constant burpy delight, it has recently stabbed me in the back. Traitor! It has ruined my life (for the moment). It attacked then proceeded to flood and murder my laptop using its only weapon : its syrupy goodness. Okay so maybe the Diet Coke didn’t do this purposefully and without accomplices but I must blame my loss and distress on it, because I certainly can’t comprehend I did this to myself. Basically its as you have now inferred (cuz you’re so smart) - somehow the entire contents of a 20 oz Diet Coke found its way from the top of chest of drawers directly onto my computer without my knowledge for an unknown period of time before it was discovered. To my avail I was too late. My 'puter is gone. Yes I tried to do the whole turn it off and fan it out for 24 hours and such… only to then find out that I actually should have “washed it out” (what the?!) with water first because since it was Diet Coke and not water all the syrup is dried up all in my motherboard… and I just helped it dry up faster by fanning it out. Go me! Whatever. So ALL of my pictures from the past three years of my life are GONE (do NOT ask me if I "back up") along with all my music, links, documents, ten whole chapters from the novel I was starting to write (okay so there is no novel but I thought it would make it sound more dramatic if I had had one), and it breaks my heart... especially considering there is no money I can foresee coming into my presence in the next ten years or so to be able replace it. So for now I am using my sister’s old one that is giznhetto and totally possessed… as every third word I type the exorcist computer decides to hop it around the screen and insert it wherever it wishes and deliberately distract my task at hand. So seriously any typos (or offensive/weird/random phrases) are not my fault. Blame the terrible (yet wonderful) Diet Coke! Man Coca Cola Zero is looking better every minute...

One of those questions I never thought I would really have to answer

The last fifteen years or so, as I have repeatedly given my love and devotion to the Green Bay Packers while cheese (literally and figuratively) continues to ooze from my veins, one question periodically arises : do you love the Green Bay Packers or do you just love Brett Favre? Although this is usually coming from a guy in a mocking tone looking at me assuming I don’t really love football (oh he could not be more wrong), it is a valid question. One that I never thought I would have to really analyze and answer since I do not feel the two are mutually exclusive. Since I have been old enough to really be a fan, Brett has always been the Packers. He is a part of what I love. I love both. Nuff said. And now… THIS. All this CRAP. You know what I am talking about. My cheese-filled heart has been torn and conflicted and this whole Brett–Packers-return debacle. Its been really hard for me. You know… since its all about me of course. Whether or not after his dramatized retirement earlier this year you think he should come back and play, I think he is a much needed addition to the sport of football as his integrity, purity and talent when it comes to the game are not matched by anyone else playing today. The fact that he is hot and I want him to be my baby-daddy is not important.

So at first when all the trading talk was being tossed around, I was teeny bit tense thinking about supporting the Packers and whatever new team Brett might be playing for (along with the Texans of course) but then it was decided that I could handle that no problem. I mean shoot its not like the Aggies are going to do much this year. But now that the Packer top guys are being such shmucks about this… I mean really? A multi-million dollar marketing deal? The guy wants to play football. He doesn’t need the money. I know you were all ready to start using Aaron Rodgers and all but seriously – its Brett Favre. Its called being flexible. What’s your problem? And if you really don’t want him and you can’t figure out a trade– RELEASE him! If you don’t want him who cares who he plays for even if it is Minnesota. Oh but you don’t want him playing for Minnesota…. But you don’t want him playing for you either. You are like a BAD ex-boyfriend. The kind that will end up all alone in the end. Ugh! I am so annoyed. The only reason a trade isn't working out yet either is because they are trying to squeeze as many barter points out of his position as they can and its despicable. I mean no I do not want my Brett with the Jets – I could maybe handle the Redskins – but this is all being drawn out unnecessarily in my opinion… the Packers are just waiting for Brett to give up and take some money and walk away… but have you not watched him on the field the last fifteen years? That ‘aint going to happen. And now the NFL Commissioner has had to step in force the Packers to “let” him come to training camp. It’s just ludicrous. At least once he’s there he’ll run all over Rodgers and they will have to let him play. Mr Packer Top Dog Man, I think its sad the way you have handled this situation and disrespected Brett after all he has done for your franchise. I think this is going to come back and bite you in the butt. We Packer fans will not stand for it. You are about to make me answer this dreaded question… and you are not going to like the answer!

I'm pickin' up Good Vibrations

So many things so many things so many things I have to share after my lack of bloggage. I mean what’s been going on right? So what is it going to finally take to break the blog seal? One of the greatest cosmetic achievements in the history of the world of Ruth that’s what! Shocker I’m sure. So the newest, most buzzed about (pun intended) product starting to go mainstream are vibrating mascaras. No joke. Mascaras that are battery-operated with vibrating brushes to transform your lashes by reaching every single nook, cranny and edge with – hello! – long, thick, black awesomeness. Estee Lauder has already come out with TurboLash, and although sold out nationwide the reviews have not been all that great. Lancome’s version, however, is a totally different story.

Everyone has been talking about and anxiously awaiting the release of Lancome’s Ôscillation Vibrating Infinite Powermascara, which is a vibrating powermascara that provides 7000 oscillations per minute and is not supposed to be released to the public until December 2008. However, dun dun dunnnnn, Lancome decided to release a few hundred to the public last Thursday, July 31st, as a limited edition test-release, only to be found online at Sephora.com and at like seventeen Neiman Marcus’ countrywide. Sheesh. That ‘aint many and it became seemingly impossible to snag one before the end of the year. Poo on toast. I have absolutely no patience for things of this matter and I want this product now! So I didn’t know what time it was going to actually go on sale online, and knowing they were going to go fast fast fast, I set my alarm for like 2am, woke up in the middle of the night (You: "Get a life, Ruth" Me: "shut it") , went on Sephora.com and – hollaaaaaa- I ganked me one! Supposedly it went on sale at 1am and was sold out by 5am! If I had waited until I woke up it would have been too late. Thank goodness I am brilliant and planned accordingly. People are so pissed they went so fast online and for once (unlike my Chanel Black Satin nail polish debacle) I am on the other winning side of things. Sooooo point is: I am one of the few amazingly awesome people in the country to have this state-of-the-art beauty product at this time and therefore, yes, I think know I am pretty darn cool. It still hasn’t come in the mail yet but believe me you will hear about it once I get to start vibratin' my lashes. Let’s just all hope I don’t electrocute and fry my eyeballs. With my track record this is not out of the realm of possibility.

I can't seem to stop myself so I guess while I am at it... if you are looking for a new lip gloss (girlfriend have you seen those puckers lately? update them) please do yourself a favor and check out Smashbox's latest Wicked Lovely Fall 2008 Collection. Stellar. Never having been a huge fan of Smashbox lip products, the Wicked Lovely lip glosses (both Coy and Sweet shades) are making me a believer as they are bar none some of the best ones I have tried this year. Precious colors with a wet, slick look thats not too goopy? They're really awesome. Highlight that pout!

Fine Fine Fine

Homegirl just wanted to be a lil reclusive/lazy/overwhelmed/emotional in my own right. But fine. I'll blog. Wait for it...

Time to replenish your makeup bags

Two of my favorite tried and true beauty resources - Allure and Sephora - have both just released their new "BEST" lists... Best of Beauty and Best Sellers respectively for the year. My favorite time of year. Although I consider myself the kind of person who can try different beauty products out and discern for myself if they are Ruth-worthy or not, shoot that gets expensive. These ain't your Dollar Menu Special kind of products. So when these lists come out, I enjoy perusing them, to see a) how smart I am because I already use the said "best" products (ego-booster of sorts) and b) which new products I could try out that have at least a little reputation and backing behind them so its probably not going to be a total economical waste. The only disclaimer is that Allure would be your best best bet for whats really good out there because Sephora's list is actually their best sellers... meaning that the products might not actually be the best... they have just duped the American public into believing they are. Chumps. Plus - shocker - but Sephora does not carry every single beauty line in the world by any means. But still good to check out and probably merits a one-time trial... But that Allure list... whew.... just does ONE thing to me. Leaves me breathless with only the undeniable urge to go shopping. NOW.

Allure "Best of Beauty"

Highlights (aka I currently use) : Make Up For Ever Aqua Eyes eyeliner, Chanel Inimitable Mascara, Redken All Soft Shampoo and Conditioner, Kérastase Resistance Extra-Corps Fortifying Care for Weakened Fine Hair, Kérastase Resistance Ciment Thermique, Nars Blush in Orgasm, Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer Firming, DuWop Revolution Tinted Body Moisturizer With Shimmer SPF 15, Aveeno Continuous Protection Sunblock Lotion for the Face SPF 30

Sephora "Best Sellers"

Highlights (aka I currently use) : NARS Lip Gloss, Ojon Restorative Hair Treatment, Imju Fiberwig Fiberwig Mascara, Benefit Cosmetics Posietint, Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer, Bliss The Youth As We Know It, Caudalie Vinoperfect Radiance Serum, Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion, Marc Jacobs Daisy, Oscar Blandi Pronto Dry Shampoo Spray, Frederic Fekkai Summer Hair Zero-Humidity Frizz Control, Ojon Rub-Out Dry Cleanser, shu uemura Eyelash Curler, GoSMILE Touch Up Mini On-The-Go Smile Refresher

Who sleeps all night in a cake made of strawberry?

Oh no she di'int! Uh uh. I know you ain't messin' with my Strawberry Shortcake. What is the world coming to? American Greetings Properties have reimaged our beloved circa 1980's version of Strawberry Shortcake into what they call a "fruit-forward makeover" to create a new version for 2008 (on the right). Oh har har. You think you're funny. This is not funny. Why are they messing with an icon from our childhood? A perfectly adorable one at that that can span the decades in my opinion. Why does homegirl now have to be so much thinner (who "now prefers fresh fruit to gumdrops". Gag me.), clothed in a spiffy, cuter outfit including perfectly matching shoes, and got her hair all done up with a straightener? Sheesh. She looks like she just walked out of a Limited Too commercial. You think kids these days couldn't use a little old fashion pudge and ringlets... oh because they can. It would be good for them to see reality (they already see Limited Too commercials!). And better for my heart because this hurts. Supposedly they are also re-vamping the Care Bears (gasp!) but if they even come close to touching my My Little Ponies, Gummi Bears or Rainbow Bright... watch smoke come out of my head because I will FLIP. A. LID! We'll have a lawsuit on our hands!

So I am not perfect but my lashes are

I have decided to be a little more careful about my beauty product recommendations. Whether you take them seriously or not... I do because my name and expertise is on the line. Okay that might be stretching it, but you know what I mean. Most times when I talk about products they are tried and true and I am completely behind them but every once in a while I will get uber excited about one and share all about my one day experience with such product which one week later turns out to be crap. Some examples include but are not limited to:

Bobbi Brown Glitter Lip Gloss - Although the "Naked" shade I got was beautimous, the consistency of this lip gloss was terrible, the little brush did not work with the packaging and I paid freaking 20 dollars for a tube the size of my pinky nail. No exaggeration.

Dior Diorshow Blackout Mascara - I even recently repurchased this to give it another try but its absolutely awful and clumps on my lashes like bees to the honey. Yech. Bees to the honey. Crazy killer bees. "Cult fav! Cult fav!" is what everyone shrieks. Oh shut up.

Marc Jacobs Cucumber Splash - Even though I am still yearning and aching to get the new Grapefruit version of this (I never learn my own lessons), honestly its not that good. Although a wonderful refreshing scent, this splash lasts about as long as my patience. Nada. Yes the whole point of a splash is to be lighter than an actual perfume but c'mon you don't want to smell my natural pheromones all day either. For $75 not worth it.

Chanel Black Satin Nail Polish - Eeeeeeeek. I know this one hurts to type. But truth is truth. My beloved Black Satin that I worked and slaved to find and obtain. Although still the most beautiful deep black silky color, the nail polish is awful. Goopy and thick even when brand new. I shoulda known. Chanel really isn't known for good polishes. So even though I stare at my beloved, I have rarely used it and if I am feeling the dark itch, I reach for my 25-dollars-cheaper WetnWild version.

Thankfully I am not wrong about my products too often but I have made a new point to be sure sure. That is one of the reasons I have waited to review my newest Holy Grail forever and ever product - Revitalash. I was nervous about trying this because of the price and I couldn't find too too much information on the internet about this and its pricey pricey. But I was desperate. Back a few months ago when my eyelashes continued to fall out and were getting grossly thin and sparse, not even my dermatologist could help me. "I dunno whats making them do that" he said. Thanks genius. You watch a full four episodes of Scrubs and now you call yourself a doctor? Sheesh. But seriously I had tried everything with no success so I took the leap and tried Revitalash. It was a product made by a doctor whose wife had cancer and had lost all her hair and eyelashes and he wanted to give her a present to try to make them grow back - awwwww how sweet. I am such a sucker - that sold me.

With promises of longer, thicker, fuller lashes in two to three months, I went for it. Result? Honestly after two and a half months, it has completely "revitalized" my lashes (which are normally short, straight, thin and sparse even when healthy). Truly it has. Although it didn't make lashes grow in the gaped spaces overnight, it has made my existing lashes a longer and fuller within three weeks and eventually all of my lashes have grown back in. Now I don't have perfect-mistaken-for-false-eyelashes or anything but there is such an evident change to me from how they have been my whole life that I am a believer. This product is totally worth the money if you need help with your lashes or want to see if they can grow longer or differently or whatever. Only downside : the cost. Brace yourself... normally it'll cost ya $150. But I have found it on different websites for cheaper and I bought mine on Amazon for only like $80. That sounds like a lot to you, I know, but if you were desperate you wouldn't blink an eye (no pun intended). So keep this in mind if you are ever in need of some lash therapy. It gets 5 stars in my book.

One product that I recently recieved that I am excited to try but am going to hold off for a while to give you my exact opinion : Bliss the youth as we know it which is a face cream/moisturizing/anti-aging/wrinkle-reducing extravaganza thats supposed to do everything in one for your skin. I have heard so many great things about it but am going to wait to give you my opinion. So we shall see..

I am not always wrong. One thing that I knew was going to be great and was? Kung Fu Panda. Thats right! I knew I would love it and I did. I laughed out loud a whole lot more than the little kids sitting around me, so that could be considered embarassing. Gee gosh whatdoyado?

Don't they have anything better to do with their time?

I SURE HOPE NOT! I would be heartbroken - I love this stuff. If you are into the Online Dance Battle between Adam Chu's crew (ACDC) and Miley Cyrus' crew (M&M Cru)... well then read more here for an update and new video!

Vandalism circa two-double-oh-eight

Its 2008. Gas prices have risen above $4 as the national average and everyone is tense and jittery about this. You don't even want to get me started on some the craaaaapy bills that these retarded senators are drawing up to solve this energy crisis (i.e. Lieberman-Warner). Crap I'm started. These guys are morons. Mo-freakin-rons. Drill in Alaska you dang tree huggers. Seriously you would rather make sure to protect the water buffalos and tax us to kingdom come and let your lil ole grandmama die from a heat stroke cause she had to walk to the 7-11 to buy a slushie instead of driving her Ford Crown Victoria there because the increasing gas prices didn't fit into her monthly budget then try and drill in ANWR. See? Thats what you're doing here. Sheesh. Lets become energy independent. At least try to. Hello! It ain't rocket science.

Okay I'm done. I am really not an expert on this subject (there's gotta be at least one!) and don't claim to be - just my opinion. Point of this... no longer should we worry about car-jackings, because hey who can pay for the gas to go into that freaking car? Yeah exactly. Not nobody who is boosting cars anyway. And certainly not nobody who can't speak correct English. Anywho - this is just something to look forward to. Now mind you, I live in suburbia. I mean suuuuriously. This kinda stuff should only be seeping down to suburbia after the urbanite folks are guinea pigs first (although I have heard it happening to big rigs as of late). Don't you hoodlums know anything? So the thing thats been happening around my neighborhood is that people are stealing gas out of cars. Like literally opening up the gas cap and sucking the gas out of the cars. It happened to the people who live directly across the street from us. I know. Smart! Crazy-Awful! Yeah it sucks. I guess as gas prices continue to skyrocket this kind of vandalism might become more and more common. Which is kinda creepy-scary. But no worries about Betty Boop (me automobile). If someone tries to touch her booty - she'll scream. She ain't no hussie. So I think she's safe. However if you have a hoochie for a car, you might wanna think about investing in some double-sided tape for that gas cap... Uh huh. You know who you are.

I want this guy's job.

This is from a few weeks ago, but funny nonetheless so I thought I would share. It represents my thoughts exactly. :)

What really occupies my mind?

Air, you say? Har har my little blog reader gots jokes.

Where is all the blogging? My mind has been occupied. Yes on more than just Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo's (hopefully) flailing relationship, Denise Richards' pathetic and trashy attempt doing a reality show or the Lindsay Lohan question : is she or isn't she? More than the fact that after watching the entire fourth season of LOST last weekend, I am still fascinated yet confused with what was going on and am feeling a bit anxious and incomplete until I find out (how am I going to make it to January?). And my mind has been occupied on more than the fact that Barack Obama is by far the most radical liberal candidate for President this nation has ever seen that I believe has proved to be untrustworthy and underqualified and I am scared that people don't see that and the fact that John McCain is our only alternative literally makes me throw up Diet Coke and cheese into my mouth and that is not cool (Eeew gross you say? Its true. Because lets be honest those are two staples that I assuredly consume every day). And my mind is definitely probably on more than just on that the new lip gloss I "need" to buy (there's always one/two/three... Givenchy Pop Gloss Crystal in Ibiza Pink and NARS Lip Laquer in Caraibe), or on my favorite new purchase - MAC Solar Bits in Black Ore - which is a spectacular consistency formula made up of clusters of pigment and pearl so you can apply it as eye shadow two different ways, or on Make Up For Ever Aqua Eyes eyeliners that I have decided I need to invest in every single shade they make, or on Benefit's Some Kind-a Gorgeous foundation faker that I am now ob-sessed with and want to purchase in bulk (its so light and soft and makes your skin feel like... how can I describe it... a soft teddy bear? Its amazing. I can't stop touching my face when I put it on).

Nope. My mind has been on other stuff. I have been finishing out my job as Director of Student Ministries at my church, getting all of my youth group and Young Life kids graduated including graduation parties and ceremonies and gifts... all the while my back pain has been really bad ever since I did something to it (in addition to my normal chronic back pain) as I was trying to grab my luggage off the conveyor belt at the airport on the way back from NYC. Yeah so nothing all around exciting to hear about. All around I am definitely in a transition place in my life (again?!?!) and I am doing my darndest to trust God with my future and that He will guide me where I need to go, because its all a tad up in the air at this point. What will it be at this point only He knows. Although many friends have tried to convince me to do make up for a living (I become breathless at the thought!) according to this article, beautifyin' people is the way to go.

Will anyone go see Kung Fu Panda with me? Should I be embarassed with how bad I want to see it? Oh because I do. The preview makes me laugh out loud. Then pretty much anything makes me laugh out loud so that might not be saying too much.

The USA Women Gymnastics National Championships and The Mutual of Omaha Swimvitational are both this weekend. Yes I follow both swimming and gymnastics way too closely. What does that mean? Olympic Trials baby. They are just around the corner. I can smell them. I can't wait. You people better get excited about the Olympics, because I live and breathe for this type of high-level competition and you are going to be hearing about it once it is upon us. Michael Phelps and Nastia Liukin are going to kick some boot-ay. Just wait for it. I totally know Nastia can win the all-around - Shawn Johnson who?! - and want her to so badly! Then there is Phelps in swimming. You guys he's like Tiger Woods in golf PLUS Michael Jordan in basketball. Put together! He's that good and that far above the rest of the world of swimming. I literally can not wrap my mind around how fast and dominating he is. You'll be hearing more and more of him I am sure as Beijing comes closer... he'll be fun to watch and I think he'll totally break the Olympic record this time and earn eight gold medals.

I believe we have determined that what occupies my mind is a bunch of gooba-lee-gee . Lovely.

SATC. I am holding it in... for now

Of course I have already seen the Sex and The City Movie. Hello its me. I so so so so badly want to blog about it and what my take is on all of it but aaaaaaaaaaah I won't yet because I know there are some of you who havent seen it yet and I am such an awesome friend I don't want to spoil the plot. You need to experience it. So go see it soon because I want to share my thoughts. Basically there are parts that I really liked and parts that I really really didn't. Overall. Oh thats a hard one... B-. Maybe C+. Fashion eye candy gets an A+. Duh.

A few thoughts... Jennifer Hudson = completely retarded character. A waste of plot space if you ask me. Plus acting-wise she was not believable. She might have peaked at Dreamgirls. Cling onto your Oscar and get back to singin' girlfriend. My heart literally stopped beating when they showed Carrie shooting her VOGUE bridal couture spread (its at the beginning of the movie don't worry) - I gasped out loud - the gowns literally gave me chills they were so gorgeous. What in the world do us normal girls have to look forward to? Love handles and crow's feet. Lovely. Tell me how thats fair. Supposedly they flew in 80 different bridal gowns from off the runways around the world to determine which ones Sarah Jessica Parker would wear in the movie. If that doesn't make you want to be a movie star I don't know what will.

Although by the time this movie actually came out I was so over it (they took over-exposure in their promoting to a disgusting new level) I still overall enjoyed it and am glad I saw it. By the end of the movie I was sure they couldn't make a sequel to it (since I had heard rumors about it) but supposedly since it did so well this weekend at the box office... especially for a rated R chick flick for goodness sakes... they are talking about it. Hmmm I don't think its likely. Maybe if they brought in new characters but that would ruin it anyway so lets hope not. It did make me quite nostaligic remembering the good ole days of college sitting with my roomies Jenn and Erika watching Season 2 over and over on DVD and falling in love with this show. Ahhhh...

Other movie reviews/go see/no see:

IronMan - Yes. Really liked it. Go Jon Favreau. That is the way you set up for a sequel people.

Indiana Jones - No. Just didn't feel right. Too over-the-top even for Indy. Nah.

What Happens in Vegas - Yes. Besides Cameron Diaz's scary-man-like muscles, its real funny.

I ♥ NY Part Deux

So our weekend celebrating Rachel's bacheloretteness in New York was fabulous-o! Full of eating, shopping, eating, rooftop dancing (okay well at least I was dancing), eating, walking, oh and did I mention eating? Yeah I think we did that.

First we got to celebrate Jenn’s 28th 23rd birthday with some rooftop awesomeness. Great pizza and margaritas. But it probably would have been even better had there been the correct background music to make the perfect Jenn ambiance. You see… Rachel had brought the Ole Skool Booty Mix CD that I had made for Jenn last year coincidentally for her bachelorette party and while hanging on the rooftop it was decided that we needed this mix... so Futral and I made a quick trip down to Jenn’s apartment to snag said CD. Well as we were walking down the stairs Futral goes “I am totally going to be the first one to eat it on these stairs”… I respond with a polite “haha yeah yeah (mumble mumble)” even though in my head I was thinking “psh. oh yeah she totally is. I am gonna laugh so hard!” I am obviously a sensitive soul. The best part is that I grabbed the CD as the two of us make our way back up the concrete stairway… carrying nothing else in our hands mind you… and homegirl here – that would be me – tooooootally eats it and falls on my face… and the only thing to stop my fall – the CD. Not kidding it saved my life. Okay or at least my face. So the CD is completely ruined as it had concrete screech marks all over it. Ooops. Sorry Rach. I gotta make you another copy. :)

Then to finish out the night we had some shopping house calls. No kidding. It was heaven. Jenn knew a lady –Janelle- who is a designer (her line Orangia is fab) and she was willing to come over and show us her latest designs which we could by at wholesale prices. Shopping that makes house calls? Heck yeah. I need to market this stuff. Anywho she also brought by her friend Erika Pena’s jewelry line… and bing bang boom we’re in trouble. This stuff was insane. Gorg-eee-mous. Plus its sold in places like Nordstroms and has been worn by celebrities on red carpets – this means I’m a fake classy and I love it. So I think most of us bought some jewelry pieces (I did!) and a few bought some cute pieces from Janelle’s clothing line… that stuff just isn’t made for girls with biznoobies. Yes that would be me. Good times.

Yeah I gotta hurry this up I know. The next day we brunched at Pastis where I had my celebrity-radar turned on full blast since celebs are known to frequent this place, but to no avail. Nada. A few models here and there nibbling on grapes while we stuff our faces with eggs and cheese but thats about it. That was encouraging to say the least. We shopped (again? yes again.) a bit in Soho and checked out Ground Zero... which actually made me more emotional then I expected. Amazingly-depressingly-awesomely-somber. Thats the only word(s) I can think to describe it. Then hopped on the subway where I had my first turn trying to use the little paper-plasticy Metro card to get through the gate. Yes this is something made so that five year olds and mentally handicapped people are able to use it. Does that mean I am able to do it? Absolutely not. Ruth had a little trouble. And it wasn't just this one time. Every single time we rode the train I was stuck on the other side of the gate with my card going back and forth, back and forth, upside down, rightside up, it didn't matter. I couldn't do it. The mocking heckles that were coming from the other side of the gate out of my "supposed friends" mouths did not help one bit. It just gave me a complex... it was a pyschological battle. One that I certainly never won.

Then onto the bachelorette night. We went to the coolest restaurant ever. Stanton Social. I know this might be a shocker but I was unsure about this place. Basically everything comes in very small portions and you sort of get multiple dishes and share them all. I was like - what the? All I kept thinking was how mad they were going to be at me when I asked them to stop by Mickey D's on the way home since I'll still be starving. But it actually ended up being really interesting (french onion soup dumplings) and really good (mac and cheese baby) and pleeeenty filling. The restaurant was stellar - food, ambiance, everything - I recommend it. After that we headed to a really cool bar at Hotel Gansevoort where we met some Brits who kept trying to convince us they were movie producers (no sir not even close)... and then onto dancing at Mansion. Jenn got us da hookup so the night went very smoothly as we breezed by the line outside... and of course once inside dancing persued. So much fun and my feet didn't even fall off in my hot pink heels!

The rest of the weekend was pretty much wrapped up in eating (duh), shopping (duh) and girly fun. Oh lets not forget about my celeb sighting! Wait but then when you pair that with that scarring leprechaun sighting it might all even out - haha inside joke. It was such a blast (I can't wait for Rachel's wedding in July now!) and Jenn was such a gracious host as we all invaded every nook and cranny of her awesome-but-small apartment. Thanks boo. But I seriously did not want to leave. I looooooved New York. Shoot. This 'ain't my last rodeo.

Rach and I perfecting what I am now going to call the "shoulder pop-n-lock". Yeah baby.

You see, when I think about kissing animals, this is what I have in mind. Robert Cavalli? Holla. Times Square with Megan - my sista from anotha mista.